36ish weeks and NOT READY!

Easter Sunday and 36 weeks

 
So I'm now 36 1/2ish weeks.  Measuring over 42 weeks. For some reason since my appointment last week my pregnancy math skills did this: 41-35 = 4 weeks big.  Um yeah...that's definitely 6 weeks big.  No wonder I'm down to 2 shirts, only one of which isn't stained.  Both shirts were made or altered by me to fit too.  I might have to make another one or two to get me through potentially 6 more weeks of pregnancy.  Let's hope it's more like 2-4 weeks though.

As for comfort: I was doing okay until I realized the baby had more than likely dislocated a rib.  It hurt A LOT.  But then I got it popped back in and it's been feeling better.  BUT THEN, the baby decided ramming its head into my left hip was a comfy spot and now I have little use of my left leg most of the time and am in so much pain when I lie down I can barely sleep.  And it doesn't help that my daughter's mouth has picked NOW to work on 2 year molars.  Yeah, she worked on her last 8 teeth in my first trimester.  Her mouth hates me.   So even if I do fall asleep, she's waking up a good 3-4 times a night. 

But this baby is not allowed to come until next week at the earliest.  My doctor, doula, and parents are all out of town until then and I simply have not planned enough to do this without them.  I'm in a slight panic about the whole thing, actually.  I know I can get this baby out, but I'm not sure I can do it naturally without the support of my "team."  So prayers appreciated that the baby will wait at least until the middle of next week when everyone will be around.

I still don't have other essentials ready for the baby.  Like a name.  I *think* we've settled on a girl's name, but the boy's name is still not coming together.  At all.  We had a list of three potential names, but the more I said them, the more I didn't like them.  So we scrapped them and started over.  And I'm still not thrilled with any of the names I've come up with.  The name I fell in love with is one my husband does not like at all.  Which is fine, this is his child, too.  But it's hard for me to get past that name I have in the back of my head.  And so far every other name I've come up with that I like, there is some sort of "baggage" one of us has associated with it: an old boss who was a total jerk, a high school teacher that was an idiot, a family member that is not particularly preferred, etc.  Names are hard.  And I think they're harder now than they were back in the day.  I mean, honestly, our grandparents just picked a name, didn't matter if their cousin or next door neighbor had the same name.  But now, if an old highschool classmate that you weren't even friends with but is now your friend on facebook has a child with that name, you cannot use it or you're perceived as copying.  Really???? ugh.  And here's the thing, I don't want to pick a name that is too trendy, but it seems like that sometimes can't be helped.  We named our daughter and only knew of one or two other people who had that name, but now everyone I meet has a daughter or granddaughter with that name.  Just. Can't. Win.

So I'm stressing just a bit.  I still need to finish my birthing skirt (based on this tutorial).  I haven't finished reading the birthing books I want to. Nor have I sat my husband down and forced him to read certain sections so he can be helpful during labor.  My birth plan is still in my head and not on paper.  I need to get my sitz bath stuff put together or any other postpartum stuff.  Haven't organized or even made a list for my hospital bag.  I really wanted to make a little present for Little Miss from the baby.  I had hoped to get some freezer meals together (since I think I'm opting out of getting meals through our church: our diet is fairly particular and I've heard what the women say about new moms with special food requests. Plus I just flat out don't want any visitors for awhile).  I need to make a sign for the door that says in a nice way to go away because I'm resting.  The hubby and I have finally decided a tv in our bedroom would be super helpful for me when I'm in recovery, so that needs to happen.  Plus the hubby is in full "get going on finishing the basement" mode. 

So little sleep + too much to do = exhausted and stressed.  And the thought of just a few more weeks is both terrifying and comforting.  I'll survive, I know I will, but will I have the energy to get through a natural labor?  Hopefully.

37, I mean 33 1/2 week Update

Saw the doctor this morning and I discovered why everyone is giving me those shocked looks when I share that I have over 2 months to go: it's because I'm measuring nearly a month big!!!

oh, the classic bathroom mirror shot.  I hate doing this, but I was too lazy to set up a tripod, etc.

I measured big with my daughter, too, but never a whole month.  The doctor felt around and it really is simply because of the baby's position: kinda halfway between transverse and head down. Plus I'm carrying super high. My husband keeps teasing me that I'm gonna get stopped leaving the store for stealing a basketball.  The doctor seems to be a little too concerned about me having a 10 lb baby though.  I was a 10 lb baby.  My friend that is half my size had a 9 lb baby.  I assured him that I'm really not concerned about it one bit.  I need to really be diligent about the Spinning Babies positions though to make sure this little one does in fact go into the head down position. 

I've also come to a rather comforting conclusion: I gain a lot of weight during pregnancy no matter what.  I ate horribly with my daughter and gained about 60 lbs.  I'm eating very healthy this time (although I do have some sweets, though usually they're homemade and still rather healthy) and I'm gaining about the same as last time, maybe even a little more.  My doctor is (fortunately) not concerned.  We've talked about my diet and he says this is just genetics then.  This is simply what my body needs to do to grow a healthy baby.  It actually is kinda liberating in a way to discover this.  I think I can let go of the guilt I felt about "letting myself go" during the last pregnancy.  The way I ate added other complications, but gaining weight really wasn't one of them.  And I feel confident that with nursing two little ones, the weight will drop off quicker than it did before.  And if it doesn't? Oh well, I'll survive.

An Update on Life

I know it's been quiet on here, but I'm afraid blogging has just not been a priority lately.  My big priority: hunting for GAPS friendly recipes.  My husband had been feeling kinda miserable since Christmas and finally just decided he needed to do something drastic.  He had gone on a diet similar to GAPS before we were married and it pretty much cured his acid reflux, but he was starting to feel like he was heading down that same path, so it was time for a change.  Even though we eat almost all traditional foods, it just wasn't enough to recover from Christmas junk.  It's been about 6 weeks or so now and it's gone pretty well.  It's just been ridiculously overwhelming to be 8 months pregnant and doing a complete diet change for our family.  I make sure all the meals are GAPS friendly, but I'm not super strict with myself about snacks.  I honestly just don't have the energy for it.  I have tried to keep my daughter grain free though, so any grain type snacks have to be eaten when she's not around...which is pretty much never.

So after 6 weeks, I think it's been good for us.  I know I feel so much better and have more energy.  We had company over the weekend and went out to eat and cooked more normal food, and oh my, I felt awful!  I mean, my stomach was fine, but I don't think my body is used to running on carbs anymore.  I was just exhausted.  I'm still trying to recover! 

As for the pregnancy, it's going so incredibly well.  I feel so much healthier and energetic than I did with my pregnancy with Little Miss.  The only "scare" we've had was that I was measuring small at my appointments.  And not consistently small.  At 16 weeks I measured 1 week big.  At 22 weeks, I measured 1.5 weeks small.  And at 26 weeks, I measured 2.5 weeks small.  I was pretty sure it was just the way I'm carrying this one, but we finally agreed to an ultrasound to check everything out.  And yep, everything is fine.  The baby is measuring right on and all was well.  With Little Miss, I measured 2 weeks big the entire time, so it's been a little different being on the smaller side of things.  With that pregnancy, people started asking if I was due "any day now" from about 6 months on.  Yeah...that was super nice.

We didn't find out the sex during the ultrasound and I'm glad we didn't want to, as the tech said she wouldn't have even been able to figure it out because of the baby's position.  Glad we weren't set on it and then disappointed.

Little Miss is still nursing as well, but I'm finding myself saying no much more frequently.  I've just found it more uncomfortable and sometimes just gives me the heebie jeebies.  When I say no, I always try to have a condition though, like "after lunch" or "when Daddy gets home."  That seems to help and she NEVER forgets!  I'm really hoping that the feelings I have now go away once the new baby comes, but who knows?

So that's a little update on how things are going.  It's been pretty crazy, but good. 

Being Comfortable in My Pregnant Body

So here's a little secret:  I hated being pregnant with Little Miss.  Oh sure, there were things I liked.  I loved feeling her move around and...yeah, I think that was about it.  I was so incredibly uncomfortable with the changes in my body, that I simply could not enjoy pregnancy.  Even when I was feeling good in the second trimester, I still didn't like my body.  I felt fat.  I didn't feel like the cute pregnant woman I always dreamed I would be.  You know the ones.  The ones that hardly look pregnant except for that precious bump that screams "I'm growing a child and I'm going to wear my pre-pregnancy jeans home from the hospital."  Yeah...I felt bitter.  I just looked chubby for the longest time and then by the time I was clearly pregnant, I was also fat.  And I had stretch marks.   It was rough.

But take two and it's a completely different experience.  I was the exact same weight at the beginning of this pregnancy as I was before my first, but it feels so different.  I suppose some of it is that my body has done this before.  It's not as much of a shock.  And maybe it's because I figure most of the "damage" was done the first time around.  The stretch marks are already there.  They're not going away and chances are they're not going to get much worse.  The boobs were huge to start off with this time around because I'm still breastfeeding, so there's no getting used to that.  Overall it just seems more familiar and I'm more comfortable in my own skin again.

I also made a little New Year's resolution (although, it really had nothing to do with the new year, more with not feeling nauseous anymore) that's helping me love pregnancy.  I decided I wanted to be more fashionable this year.  I'd been feeling pretty frumpy and behind on the times and had decided to just give up until my kids were older, but then I ran across this article on Ain't No Mom Jeans. This line in particular really struck me:

"Ignoring trends year after year after year is exactly how you wake up one morning, 20 years later, with a permed mullet and legwarmers wondering why everyone else looks so different."

I just kept thinking, "I don't want to end up as the Mullet Mom!!!" 


So I'm putting more effort in.  I'm doing a bit of research and I'm taking a few risks.  There were quite a few trends that I just figured would never look good on my body type, but I've since been converted.  My favorite right now?  Belting the bump.  I love wearing a belt to accent the top of my baby bump.   It makes me feel like I definitely look pregnant, not fat.  I feel kinda sassy doing it, too.  I'm also trying more and more non-maternity clothes to pair with my small pregnancy wardrobe.  It's actually turned into a pretty fun process.

I'm finally figuring out what so many other women have experienced already:  that pregnancy can be fun!  You can feel comfortable with your body and enjoy the changes.  You can still feel fun and sassy and sexy.  I felt like I had lost that part of me with my first pregnancy and journey into motherhood, but this time around, I think I've recaptured it.  Now hopefully I can hold on to it.

Good Excuses

Okay, so it's been awhile.  I knew this blog thing would never be a major priority for me, but more of a chance to put my thoughts down when I needed to.  But I do have a very good reason for dropping off the face of the planet: morning sickness.  Yep. The wonderful joys of morning sickness for 8 long and brutal weeks.

But it has finally passed and now I can excitedly tell people that yes, we are expecting and I'm not just filling up on cookies during the Holidays.  I mean...I AM filling up on a cookies, but that's not why I suddenly have a huge gut.  This little one will be joining us at the end of May or the beginning of June.  Depends how big of a rush he/she is in.  So currently I'm about 17 weeks along and starting to enjoy the whole pregnant thing.  It really is fun once I'm not feeling nauseous 24/7.  And I'm just starting to feel movement too, which I absolutely love.  It gives me such a sense of security and joy. 

I do have to report that I have noticed a substantial decrease in bad pregnancy symptoms compared to my pregnancy with Little Miss.  My nausea was less and I threw up less.  I didn't get the breast tenderness or as much cramping.  The exhaustion was still there, but I have a good reason for that too:  I'm still breastfeeding Little Miss.  And it's going pretty well.  I thought once the morning sickness hit I would want to wean her, but it was the best thing ever!  1) I'm pretty sure the breastfeeding is what decreased my morning sickness and 2) when you have a toddler who never sits still EXCEPT for when she nurses, you certainly don't want to give up that time.  I would let her nurse as much as she wanted just so we could sit and snuggle when I felt my worst.  It also meant I didn't have to dig through the fridge as often for food for her.  She would tell me when she wanted food, but having breastmilk fill in the calorie gap really took a load off my shoulders.

I really have no idea what the next step is.  I don't have any desire to wean her (although we did wean at night and last week was rough and I DID have definite thoughts of weaning), but we'll just see.  She may wean herself as my milk changes and decreases.  I just don't know.  We are constantly in uncharted territories.

I suppose all parenting is uncharted territories though.  Even if you've done it with one kid, every child is different.  It'll be fun to see who this little one will turn out to be!